


here's the thing

by usoverlooked



Category: Community
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-28
Updated: 2013-02-28
Packaged: 2017-12-03 21:05:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/702633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usoverlooked/pseuds/usoverlooked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loving Jeff is hard. Loving Britta is scary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	here's the thing

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying out a newer style and would love feedback! Aside from that, these two idiots are ruining my life but y'know whatever.

Here’s the thing about loving Jeff Winger: it’s hard. It’s hard because he likes to eat healthy and wake up before the sun and he’s not quiet when he’s getting ready so it means you also wake up before the sun. It’s hard because he does things like kiss Annie Edison and then spend the summer in your bed. It’s hard because he smiles at you like you hung the moon and you’re scared to death that he’ll realize you didn’t, so you argue about stupid, trite things. It’s hard because he’s so used to the easy way that when you go toe-to-toe with him, he hates it. It’s hard because your mouth moves as fast as your heart, and your brain is still catching up. It’s hard because Troy would be easier, a thousand times easier, and he smiles at you but it doesn’t make your body light down to your toes the way Jeff’s smirk does. It’s hard because some nights he rubs a hand through your hair and asks if you think his dad thinks about him and half of you wants to say yes and half of you wants to say screw him. It’s hard because he understands you and God that’s scary, to look across the table at someone and not have to explain yourself for once. It’s hard because you plow on about how terrible marriage is, how you don’t need kids to validate your life, but then you look at him and imagine a little girl with a Keebler nose and your blonde hair. It’s hard because loving Jeff Winger means really loving someone, all the idiosyncrasies and failures, and it’s the scariest thing you can think of.

 

Here’s the thing about loving Britta Perry: it’s scary. It’s scary because she does stupid things like organize bake sales for the Somalians and somehow you end up in her dingy kitchen, elbows deep in flour and not just because you know she’ll make out with you after. It’s scary because sometimes she laughs and your stomach flips and you’re sixteen again. It’s scary because with her you’re able to look up your dad. It’s scary because she sleeps next to you some nights and asks if she’s really that much of a screw-up, in this small voice, and you hate yourself for ever letting her think that. It’s scary because she doesn’t take any shit from you. It’s scary because she holds Troy’s hand and your jaw clenches and you know she isn’t yours, but you also know she should be. It’s scary because you don’t believe in marriage, but you believe in her and during the year you spend sleeping together wherever you can, you pause on the engagement rings when you’re looking for a new watch. It’s scary because she gets your favorite beer, spends evenings watching CSI with you and you could see your entire life like this and it’d be a good one. It’s scary because loving Britta Perry means loving someone who doesn’t need you to change, but makes you want to change, means loving her wholly and it’s the hardest thing you can think of.


End file.
